Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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