guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
