You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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