Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you traded sex for a burrito?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
