I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize