whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
