I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
