Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
