I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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