Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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