i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
