You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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