My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
