i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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