Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize