i dont even know how to be here
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize