I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
