We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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