Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
