Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
