WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
