Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
