zippers are such a cool invention
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
