sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
