i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize