I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
