Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
