So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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