just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize