So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
