Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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