Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
