everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
