Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
