Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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