i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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