I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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