They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
