gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
