Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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