There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
