There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
