so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize