My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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