If i come over, it means nothing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
