woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
A+ Viking dick
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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