her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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