Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
