I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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