we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
