He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
