why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
