It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
please come you make the beer taste better
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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