I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
