It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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