ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
