Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
