yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
